While it is not a guarantee that one twin will be good and one will be bad, it is definitely a possibility. Realistically, as a parent, you can do everything right and still have this happen. Most twins struggle all their lives to become individuals regardless of whether they are raised as individuals or not. It is embedded in them from birth that they are one half of a duo. There really is no way around that. The reason one is good and one is bad is they can't both be the same thing. Once one twin heads down the bad road, the other has no choice but to head the other way. Most of the time, this will go away as the twins get older and more comfortable with their own individuality and realize that there is room to be a twin and an individual. That is the way things happened with my twin and me.

When we were really young we didn't act much like individuals. We were always together and that is they way we thought it should be. Once we got old enough to start making our own decisions, things started changing. We went out and found different friends, focused on different likes and dislikes and chose different fashion styles. We even started disliking each other. At this point we were still both basically good kids. Then we hit High School; and the big changes began to happen.

My sister began to go through what our family loving refers to as her dark period. Her wardrobe consisted of all black clothes. She wore razor blades as earrings, tied bandanas around her legs, wore moccasin boots and grew one HUGE attitude. She started hanging around with older men, who in my opinion were hoodlums (one of which I ended up marrying 12 years later but that is another story). She strived really hard to defy our parents, and succeeded rather well. She was the typical badass 80's hair rocker. I hated her. Her behavior left me no choice but to go the other way.

My biggest thought was, my parents already had to deal with one bad apple so I had to do my best to give them a normal child. I became a straight-laced preppie. My theme song, which was given to me by my sister and her hoodlum friends, and incidentally is still brought up today, was Goodie Two Shoes by Adam Ant. I did what I was told, tried not to ever talk back, was extremely respectful of my parents, did my homework, didn't complain, ate my vegetables blah blah blah. You get the picture. I strived really hard to be the exact opposite of my sister, and succeeded. I was a big giant geek. Almost every decision I made was based on the opposite of what my sister would do. During this period I was more a product of what my sister made me than what my parents did.

The good news is, as time went by we both started drifting in the same direction, eventually ending up somewhere in the middle. As adults, we are very secure in our own individuality and at the same time we cherish the fact that we are twins. Knowing that we have someone who will always be there is a great feeling. We are very close now even with our different likes and dislikes. We have no reason anymore to prove that we are different, because we know we are. I think most twins will eventually hit this compromise, so to speak.

As a parent of twins, just remember that it is all a part of growing up. Children go through stages that help define who they will be in the future. The difference with twins is they take things to the extreme to differentiate themselves from one another. I don't think there is anything that can be done about it. It is something that twins just need to go through. In the end they will sit around and laugh at the roads they took just like we do.